Dare We Not Desire?
The older brother is the picture of the man who has lived his entire life from duty and obligation. When the wayward son returns from his shipwreck of desire, his brother is furious because he gets a party and not a trip behind the barn with the broadside of a paddle. He tells his father that he has been had; that all these years he hasn’t gotten a thing in return for his life of service. The father’s reply cuts to the chase: “All that is mine has always been yours.” In other words, “You never asked.”
Rembrandt captures all this powerfully in his now-famous painting The Return of the Prodigal Son. In this painting, the elder brother stands a step above the reunion of father and son. He will not step down, enter in. He is above it all. But who receives redemption? The scandalous message of the story is this: whose who kill desire – the legalists, the dutiful – are not the ones who experience the father’s embrace. The question is not, Dare we desire, but dare we not desire?
(an excerpt from, The Journey of Desire by John Eldredge)
Permission to Hurt
Love takes risk; it’s impossible to love without taking into account the possibility that one way or another, one party will fail the other – deliberately or accidentally.
I’m not saying that when we love, we should always hurt each other; definitely not. But what I am saying is, our natural tendency to fail ourselves and even the people that we love most. It’s a fact not an opinion. I have never met a couple nor a family who ‘perfectly’ loves each other and who has pain in its absence. Every growing relationship learns that pain is part of gaining more and loving deeper. Someone who misses that point misses half of his life from learning the essence of pain in relationships. Consider the following facts:
One, pain warns us that something isn’t right. When we neglect this, we are prone to danger and much worse than that, we are already in danger. I had this experience when I accidentally cut a small tip of my pointing finger using a paper cutter. The pain was totally inexplicable. I realized, if there’s no pain, I would totally ignore my wound and would just let blood flow from my finger which could harm me even more. Same thing in every relationship. If we ignore a small portion of our hurt because of our being ‘too much understanding’, time will come that small wound can be infected in ways which we do not imagine; and the last thing we know, we are nearing the end of a breaking relationship.
Two, pain leads to healing. Pain brings not just negative effects in our lives but it can also bring positive things. When I cut my finger, I asked the nurse why was it still aching when medicine was already applied? She told me, “It’s because your cells are doing their job to conceal and repair the broken tissue.” I know it might sound a little bit weird, but I think that’s the best explanation I heard in that state. When we are in pain, all we have to do is to feel its sting. We cry. Others talk about it; and many drown themselves in their own ways of coping. It is in our deepest and darkest state that we learn to let go and move on. Thus, personal healing follows, and we emerge as wiser and better individuals. However, if we choose the opposite, we choose to kill ourselves. We lose hope.
There could be a lot more facts that we can learn from pain. What I have written are just examples to prove that in every relationship, it’s impossible not to get hurt. So, we must always be reminded that each time we allow people to come in our lives or even when we love, we are giving them permission to hurt us and make us better individuals. You might ask, “Why am I so certain about this?” It’s because, more than two thousand years ago, my Ultimate Lover took all the shame and pain to reconcile with me even though I do not deserve it. Thus, such act of love has made me a better person of today than yesterday.
“…looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:2
Everyday Deserves a Chance
Happy New Year!
Whether you believe it or not, I just spent my New Year’s eve trying to ignore the loud noise brought by fireworks and loud music. I was in bed trying to fall asleep as if I was not hearing anything (even my mom’s call). I missed the beauty of fireworks and I missed the opportunity to enjoy what life brought me at that moment. All I know, something’s hindering me from celebrating that blessed midnight.
Then as I recall, perhaps it’s because of fear and worry. I must admit that I am really bombarded with the things that I have to accomplish as a professional and as a student. After this week, I will be facing the reality of my loads and deadlines. I am fully aware of everything; however, it’s like my mind is willing to work and finish everything but my body refuses. It’s really a struggle everytime these two are in complete disagreement. With these, doubt starts to linger in my heart, asking me, “Can you finish everything before Monday?” Then fear and worry are working together to put me down.
Nevertheless, it’s just amazing how conscience moves in my life every time I am feeling such negativity. I read a chapter from the book, “Everyday Deserves a Chance” by Max Lucado hoping to gain new insight in this life; and it never failed me.
“An hour is too short, a year too long. Days are the bite-size portions of life, the God-designed segments of life management.” And I agree with this statement. It’s a good thing that God has given as 24-hours to manage… one day at a time. Perhaps, He’s giving us the opportunity to enjoy our day and make it perfect. However, in reality, there are moments when we are missing the opportunity to enjoy a specific day. Max offered the following things for us to keep in mind as we face our day:
1. You no longer have yesterday. Well, it’s true. There’s no chance of sleeping then waking up in the same date, right? Yesterday will always be a yesterday… a portion of our past.
2. You do not yet have tomorrow. Well, this speaks to me a lot. I always worry what will happen in the future and forgetting what lies for me in that moment. Perhaps, it happens to you, as well. You can’t spend tomorrow’s life-benefits today for time will come, you will never have enough for tomorrow.
3. Live in it. Give your today a chance. Live in it. If the Lord has given us a 24-hour day to manage, manage it well. Make your day perfect in your own expectation. Do it everyday and imagine what will happen for the rest of the year…. amazing, isn’t it?
May the song of the psalmist be the song of our hearts every single day… “This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.”
Have a perfect day ahead! Shalom.
Yesterday’s Junks
But if I let these dreams die,
If I lay down all my wounded pride,
If I let these dreams die,
Will I find that letting go lets me come alive?
So empty my hands, fill up my heart
Capture my mind with You (Tenth Avenue North, Empty My Hands)
Life is a game. We find joy in every triumph thus will make us pursue more victories. The more victories we have, the more pride we achieve. However, alongside, we can also learn sadness in every lost battle and whether we accept it or not, we hate to lose. Who wants it, by the way? That’s why people are trying so hard to win over their yesterday’s junks.
Nevertheless, we cannot hold on to these “junks” forever for once in our life, we have to let go of these so that we can hold another opportunity to win. But what can we do if all the people around tell us to give up or to stand up and push us to take revenge? One thing I’ve learned from this life: we cannot allow people dictate the course of our life. But what we can do is to fix our eyes on Jesus who leads us and makes our faith complete (Hebrews 12:2).
In this game of life, one thing is necessary that is, we should know whose voice we’re listening to.
Truth of all truths
♫ The truth was there all this time
The only one who couldn’t see was me… ♫ (James Morrison)
How many times have we become blinded by the “truths” that we believe in only to find out that our beliefs are actually, lies pretending to be the truth?
Only one thing is necessary at this moment it is to know the Truth of all truths. And this Truth has once said, “If you stick with this, living out what I tell you, you are my disciples for sure. Then you will experience for yourselves the truth, and the truth will free you.” It is then, in knowing who the Truth really is and living out His principles in the midst of this deceiving age that we can really experience the truth that we are searching for; it is in letting go of all our pretensions and letting ourselves experience the liberating work that only the Truth of all truths can do and He is… Jesus.
Surrender
“Now I surrender my whole life
Through faith, I surrender my all
To the one and only God of this life
T’is now, I will never regret His call.”
Matthew 16:25, “For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”
Surrender means victory if we learn to surrender everything to God.
What Love is This?
“What love is this, that You gave Your life for me
And made a way for me to know You
And I confess You’re always enough for me
You’re all I need…” -Kari Jobe
“This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again.” (an excerpt from John 3:16-17, The Message)
I am always in awe at Your wonderful love that I can’t even measure… such a wonderful love that You’ve chosen me to treasure.
We Will Be Faithful
Faith is the thing that proves on what we cannot see.
Faith is the one who is keeping us connected to the Father.
We must not lose faith and remember God in everything we do
and we just need to be faithful to God and God will always finish His work in us.
God will finish what He started in our life we just need to entirely entrust everything to Him, for our hearts belong only to Him…
“There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.” -Philippians 1:6
Eternal Love For Us
God LOVED us so much to the Point of Giving His own Son to Die for us… to the point of Considering us Worthy to be saved and Loved! God Loved us For He was so kind of Saving us! God Gave us the gift that requires no return; a gift that is Free for us to receive and not be rejected!
Before we were born Christ loved us first! God gave us an eternal love that we can never forget!
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” -John 3:16
Stop Punishing Yourself
Have you ever had a feeling when it seems like God is very distant to you? How many times do you punish yourself by striving hard just to get a clear conscience out of your iniquities that cut His heart so deeply? And for you to push away all the guilty feeling and at the same time, the feelings of hurt, pain, and fears, you try to extend all your efforts by becoming “good” and “holy” with all your might. You begin by trying to prove that you are now a changed man after you repented and perhaps, it’s as if you start to believe unconsciously, reality speaking, that all of your “righteous practices” could wipe away the madness that He has against you. But in the end, you still feel that all your efforts will never be enough.
Perhaps, one of the reasons why we react and rationalize just like in the previous statements is because our love tends to be conditional. We pattern our relationship with the Lord with the kind of relationship we have with our fellow humans.
Nevertheless, I think, this is the time to draw a line from here. We have to understand that God looks at us, differently; far more different compared to how humans look at us. He always extends unconditional love despite our flaws, stubbornness, and hypocrisy. We don’t have to prove anything; He knows us inside and out. All we have to do is to pause for a while and listen as He says, “Son, I think you should cease striving by now and start to understand that I am God. I love you despite your imperfections. I am not mad at you anymore.”
“If we finally realize that God is not mad at us anymore, that’s the only time we’ll go for love and growth.” -Henry Cloud
The Heart’s Content
“My heart longs for a life that is contented..
A kind of contentment that is hidden to me.
Until You come and reveal to me,
a heart that is pure and happy with its only satisfaction-
and it’s You, my Lord, my God.”
“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” (Philippians 4:11)
Captivated
I am always captivated by a love that never fails… love that never rejects… love that never condemns… Love everlasting!
” Who stood up for me against the wicked? Who took my side against evil workers? If God hadn’t been there for me, I never would have made it. The minute I said, “I’m slipping, I’m falling,” your love, God, took hold and held me fast. When I was upset and beside myself, you calmed me down and cheered me up.” (Psalm 94:16-19)
Stoic Heart
One thing that I appreciate about a stone is its hardness. A stone may be small like a mustard seed but once it gets into your eye, expect some infections. It can be so big, as well; big enough to take refuge from it and big enough to use it as a weapon against your foes.
Now, no matter how big or small a stone is, this small heart of mine desires to acquire such hardness. Hardness that makes it numb for things that don’t really matter anymore. Hardness that covers a soft spot against abuse and malpractice of emotions; and hardness that can only be softened by love… and nothing but pure love.
For no one can fully understand a man’s heart not even its steward. But fear not for God assures us that though the heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, like a puzzle that no one can figure out, it is God who searches the heart and examines the mind. He gets to the heart of the human. He gets to the root of things. He treats them as they really are, not as they pretend to be. (Jeremiah 17:9-10)
Choose to Forgive
Forgiveness is the greatest expression of mercy that you can show to another, particularly to the person who has hurt you a lot.
Just a little exercise: Think of the GREATEST error that you commit against God.
WHY? (You may ask…)
“The strength to forgive someone else can only be found in the truth that you have been forgiven by God.” (Tom Holladay) You have been forgiven by God, completely and faithfully. Now, it’s your choice: keep that grudge to the bottom part of your heart OR learn to let it go and experience a new sensation of peace.
Remember: “If someone does wrong to you, forgive that person because the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13, NCV)
You are not always RIGHT!
“Marry someone who’ll fight you back, ‘coz you are not always right.” -a father to a son
Perhaps, this is one of the best pieces of advice that I heard coming from a father to his son who’s planning to get married; a good reminder that we are not always right.
MEN. You are the head and it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll reject other ideas, for your own sake. Learn to pause, listen, and evaluate all the ideas coming from you and from your BELOVED partner. Thus, you are making her beautiful and loved.
WOMEN. You are the ‘suitable helper’ and it doesn’t mean you have the authority to act greater than your man. Learn to suggest your ideas and not to dictate. Learn to express your love by respecting him.
“GOD put the Man into a deep sleep. As he slept he removed one of his ribs and replaced it with flesh. GOD then used the rib that he had taken from the Man to make Woman and presented her to the Man. The Man said, “Finally! Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh! Name her Woman for she was made from Man.” (Genesis 2:21-23, The Message)
Stop Hypocrisy
“Take the road that leads to the freedom of a life without secrets, a life where you know that people love you for who you are, not for who you’re pretending to be.” -Tom Holladay
“Don’t do your good deeds publicly, to be admired…” (Matthew 6:1 NLT)
“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil. Cling to what is good.” (Romans 12:9 NIV)
Deep Love
“There is no pit so deep that God’s love is not deeper still.” -Betsie
“I pray that you and all of God’s people will understand what is called wide or long or high or deep. I want you to know all about Christ’s love, although it is too wonderful to be measured. Then your lives will be filled with all that God is.” -Ephesians 3:18-19 (CEV)
A life that is deeply rooted in Christ’s love, is a life that knows how to love.
Just seek Him… like a child
“
Dear Father in Heaven,
Can I ask you some questions? Hope you don’t mind. Well, where are you right now? Are you really there listening to me? Sometimes, I feel that you are not listening. Where were you when someone made me cry a thousand times? Where were you when you hear me calling out your name at night? Where were you when I fell and didn’t have enough time to stand up and run?
Where were you right now? I just want to feel your touch… I just want to feel your embrace… I just want to feel that you are with me. Can I have an embrace coming from you? Can I have a slight kiss on my forehead? Can I hear your wonderful voice as you sing me a song before I go to sleep?
Nah… Don’t feel bad. I just miss you so much. I know I’ve been playing all around that’s why I am like this longing for your presence. Last one… can you hug me while I sleep?”
At times, we act like a child especially in times of confusion, hurt, and loss. We tend to ask and question if God is really with us. Don’t be afraid to ask the same questions for they will lead us into a reality about our Father in heaven:
“You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13
Wounded Healer
There are times in our lives when we feel that we are so tired, restless, and in a deep pain and agony. Times that demand us to pause for a while and take a deep breath. Times when all we want to do is to give ourselves the benefit to undergo the process of healing and rest.
However, there are also times when we are in the midst of these personal longings and needs that we see people, who are so dear to us, suffering like we do and it feels like it doubles the pain from within; then, we set aside these personal longings and we become wounded healers- people who has the humility to help others amidst their own brokenness.
Take heart. Our great Healer has His beautiful gift for us:
“My gift of undeserved grace is all you need. My power is strongest when you are weak…” 2 Corinthians 12:9
For it’s in weakness that we learn the message of true strength. It’s in brokenness that we find the meaning of completeness. And it’s in experiencing the beauty of grace that we become wounded healers in the likeness of our Great Healer- Jesus Christ.
Love takes Risk
If you are afraid to get hurt when you love, think again. C.S. Lewis put it this way:
“If you want to make sure of keeping your love intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.
But in the casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”
It’s impossible to love and never get hurt. Even the love that the cross carried has a message that to love is to take every risk, to unravel every differences and to unchain every fear. If we refuse to love, bitterness and the feeling of emptiness will reside in our hearts.
If you choose not to love, not only you will be hurt, but the people you could have loved will be hurt in ways you may never know.
“We love each other because He loved us first.” 1 John 4:19 (NLT)
A Man’s Conviction and Commitment
“I realize… I may not have hands to hold my wife’s hand but when the time comes I’d be able to hold her heart.” -Nick Vujicic
Real men should know the fullness of their commitments and the limit of their convictions.
Commitments are meant to be fulfilled with proper judgment of one’s convictions and not just mere words spoken for nothing.
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